“Just who do you think you are?”
Now there’s a question that has been posed and pointed more than a few times. Usually it is a weaponized question of sorts, laden with accusation; or it is a declaration aimed at someone’s preposterous behavior. Nevertheless, I think it is an essential question of spiritual identity.
Consider the writer of the New Testament book commonly known as “John.” Tradition holds that this Gospel was written by the disciple John, one of Jesus’ closest associates, though the writer, mysteriously, never identifies himself by name.
If I had written a book that was an eyewitness account of the life and times of Jesus of Nazareth, you can bet that I would have signed it – as gigantic as John Hancock – but John the Disciple did not. He used a different signature. He used an alias, a pen name tagged: “The one Jesus loved.”
Why such a moniker? The leading explanation is that because John wrote his gospel some time later than the other three, persecution had set in against the church. Thus, for John to give his actual name would have meant persecution, censure, or even death. Another theory is that John was being a bit arrogant. He was Jesus’ favorite, so goes this theory, and he was rubbing others’ nose in it.
But I don’t think John was hiding his identity or flaunting his supremacy in the band of Jesus’ merry men. I think he was playing another creative game altogether; he was using a literary device to force his readers to take hold of the core meaning of what it means to be in relationship with Jesus Christ. He was asking the question, “Just who do you think you are?”
John understood that his core identity was directly connected to the love Christ had for him. So much so, that he did not think of himself as a fisherman, a disciple, an apostle, a Gospel writer, or a Church Father. He was simply one who was supremely loved. That’s who he was, and the exact identity he wanted us, his readers, to embrace.