Greensburg Daily News, Greensburg, IN

November 5, 2012

Politics for the birds

Greensburg Daily News

Greensburg — Dear Editor:

It is time to take action against the petty, vindictive birds that are stealing from our elderly.

Many residents of Greensburg haven’t taken the time to understand or notice it, but the elderly people in our city are being attacked. Not by the government, but by these naughty winged creatures.

It’s understandable that they’re upset, seeing as the politicians in New York City are gassing geese in a nature preserve. At the same time, they should be going after the politicians, instead of our elderly.

Just last week, I was reading on one of the benches at the Greensburg City Park when I saw an elderly woman trying to feed the birds. Instead of taking the handful bird seed and going on their way, the birds banded together and flew off with the woman’s sock monkey hat.

And this is not an isolated incident. I was walking along Lincoln Street yesterday when I noticed a bird make off with a man’s toupee. With winter coming, it’s understandable that the bird would need a way to insulate its nest, but ripping off an elderly man’s toupee in the middle of a busy sidewalk is going too far.

It is time to band together. It is time to fight back against these petty vindictive birds. We need to teach them to go after the politicians in New York, instead of the sweet, elderly people of Greensburg.

Melissa Stusinski, Greensburg